Away with trouble.

I know. At some point, everyone gets bored of reading other peoples tags. They're only about that person. Thats so boring!
Anyway, I am helplessly tagged again but hey, why not... cheat?.. Well, personally I like to cheat because it gets me out of trouble. Like this.
In this tag, I need to describe 6 friends that bring special meaning to me. I am also not supposed to reveal their identities. And thank God for that becuase 1 special meaning someone brings to me is 'You damn retard!'

Excuse 1 for me to not-do this tag.
Yes!~... I have no 'friends'!
Note the ' ''s..

So then I have no one to tag as well.
And Im kinda like this when I go out. Alone.

Im featured in a random comic. Truly blessed.

So this is where I sneak off and pretend like there was never such tag.

Friendster Bulletins

Subject:	I am single
Message:	You have 200 seconds to repost this or your mom will die. only say one .I have a girlfriend now .I want a girlfriend .I want a boyfriend .I like someone ALOT <3 .We broke up for sure .I am single .I LOVE my boyfriend .I LOVE my girlfriend .I'm ugly

Holy ****, If I dont repost this my mom will die? Friendster bulletins are getting more crude and threatening. But as if it can kill my mom. I don't know why people repost these things, either they are very eng bo su cho, or they're damn stupid believing that it would kill their mom.
I bet the person who started that bulletin is laughing their asses off... =P
I should make some when im free too. =D Laughing at seriously stupid people is fun.

iPod

The iPod probably the best selling rip off mp3 player on the market.

iPod - Its a whores new world?

It seperates people, the ones who can afford one being rich or stupid - either one, with the ones who can't - the cheaper people.

More iPod

Alternatives to an iPod are vast. Creative for example, their products last longer (than an iPod at least), but yes, an iPod looks more 'fashionable'.

iPod x 4

So this means that people desperate to fit into society will buy it. Which is, many people. Many people will buy it. That being their main reason to. Forgetting the value of quality and reliability.


Wow, so many iPod ad's. Notice that they refect on todays youth culture around the world. Or at least what they want to be like - being cool and all, I don't know because I'm an old lamer.
What is know is that...

New iPod - iAnal

The iPod has become so popular that people have started sticking it up into their asses, since the sound quality is so good, we can even feel it inside us.

Then again, some people dislike the iPod. I like these people. They are Creative.

My Apple product, iDislike.

Now, What expensive Apple product do you have?

Heres a link to Why the iPod sucks.

Googling

God has blessed us in many ways. Ways such as giving us nice food to eat - to creating asshole mofo's for us step on (Not literally.). 10 years ago, we humans were "less blessed" as if you were to have a question such as: "What is Kuching?" (Assuming you're from another country.) It would be quite hard to find out. You could always walk to the library but its a waste of energy, and time consuming. As you would want the answer almost immediately.

So this is where God has blessed us. In 1998, God came down to Earth (Menlo Park, California to be exact.) And he visited two people, Larry Page and Sergey Brin in a garage.
God said 'Let there be light and Google.com!'

And that is how Google came to be.

Ok, enough of history.
Today, I shall cast more light. By teaching you the art of googling.
The art of googling is as easy as walking. God made it that way so even an idiot would be able to use it.

- The Ancient Art Of Googling -
Google is a search engine, unlike kancil engines, it is more powerful and has more horsepower. Google is basically used to search for information. This is useful in many ways, and mainly so that you wont go and disturb your friends asking them: Hey, whats the meaning of gnihfwfbeughke? Or... : Where do I download Winamp? Can you give me the direct link? Instead of doing that, go to Google.com and GOOGLE IT.

You will need:
A computer.
Internet Access
A functional brain.
Fingers.
A pinch of common sense.

Step 1
Get a question. There must be something you would like to know about. For now, we will use 'Where is Kuching?'

Step 2
Now you will need to open your web browser and type in www.google.com. It should automatically redirect you to the Malaysian 'Googlar'.

Step 3
After it has finished loading, simply type in your question in the box. If you dont know, Its labelled as A. So we type in 'Where is Kuching'. You dont need to add the question mark. Dont ask why either.

Even got google in Bahasa Malaysia ah! Its really Godsent!

Step 4
Click google search and wait (If you're still using dial-up. Heheh.) for the results to load. Then you should see something like this...



Now, we will need to know which blue words to click.

A: Welcome to Kuching Online
Welcome to Kuching Online, the online guide of Kuching City, ... Please tour around this site to find out more about Kuching and visit Kuching on your next ...
www.isarawak.com.my/kuching/main.html

If you can read, it says Kuching City, therefore you should know that its about a PLACE, which is part of your answer to WHERE.
And needless to say, it has a independant domain name. Not stuff like www.i-ate-kuching.blogspot.com. The reason to this is because... chances are, sites like these are a free service which could mean free abuse. Or, the site could be about someones boring life. So we need to look out for these sites and look for independant domain such as www.isarawak.com.my. Because its not hosted by a free hosting service, it means that there is a certain amount of commitment. So therefore the site should be fairly reliable.

B: Hilton KuchingThe Hilton Kuching is situated along Kuching's spectacular riverfront promenade with panoramic views of the Sarawak River and Fort Margherita.
www.hilton.com/en/hi/hotels/index.jhtml?ctyhocn=KUCHITW

You should be able to comprehend that the above is about an object. Note the words the hilton and is situated along. Also knowing that hilton is the name of a hotel. Not the model. Hotel. So, this site would not exactly answer our question. So don't click unless you're looking for somewhere to stay when you get stranded here.

C: Kuching - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaThe climate in Kuching is tropical, moderately hot and receives ... View of the Kuching waterfront across Sarawak River towards India Street and the old
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuching

Wikipedia - A great source of information, when doing research about something, its always good to read whatever it is up in the Wikipedia as it has a wide range of information and is 99% (more or less) accurate. A .org means its an organisation so sites like these can be reliable.

D: Kuching Quick Guide (Travel in Sarawak, Malaysia)Quick tourist guide to Kuching (Sarawak) in Malaysia, covering food, people, places and culture.
kuching.outer-court.com/

Its self explanatory. Shouldnt be hard to understand what the site offers unelss you're mentally retarded. Seriously.


So I hope, now, before asking questions, GOOGLE IT FIRST.

Obviously dont go and look up 'Where did I put my handphone?'....

Football

Its not just a game, to some its a life, a passion. It is the one word the world understands, its the one game where we sit for 90 minutes to watch what they do best. Play.

Enough of the cheesy intro, frankly the world cup has began and people have already started betting money.

I have only one thing to tell you all... Brazil will win the world cup.

Ordem & Progresso? In english: Order me an exresso.

Yes, Brazil will win. Because the country has great chicks fooballers.

Can't wait for the finals.

06-06-08

If I were some gullible believer I'd say yesterday was a very bad day.

1. My handphone was stolen. =.= CB!!.. I cant believe I was so stupid! I was outside Tun Jugah about to cross the road tp KFC and so on. It was around 6PM and suprisingly NO one was there (not even the security guard) except for these 3 mofos.

Mofos meaning those Malay or la kia's (I dunno how to tell the difference.) that hang around the ground floor of Star Cineplex for example. By hanging around, I mean smoking and spitting and even pissing. Smoking in an open area is ok. Spitting in a sink is ok but mcb dont spit on the floor. Pissing in a toilet is ok, but dont goddamn piss in a fckin stairway corner. You can assure yourself that you're not one, cause by the looks of it, they look fking stupid so they cant read. So they wouldnt be here. You can also identify them by their horrendous smell! They never take bath.. I wonder how the mofo whores can tahan.

So anyway, 1 mofo came up to me and spoke to me in BM.

Mofo No.1: Eh... can you help me miss call my friend? [His breath smelt like beer.]
Me: (Cautious) Err... Ya.
So I took my phone out and started dialing whatever number he said... Then he quickly grabbed my phone... I was also holding on to it then. Trying to pull it back which of course was working, until...
Mofo No.2: (Pops up and punched me on face) Not painful la.
Mofo No.3: (Appeared behind me) WTF?
Me: (Looks at mofo No.3)
Mofo No.1 & 2: (Runs away)
Mofo No.3:(After a moment... ran away.)


Ya.. WTF?

So that was 1.

2. I was standing outside Star and then... Something fell on my shoulder. I flicked it (Was something round?.. A seed?) off. Then Jade looked at me and said... "Thats bird shit!"
And I looked at my hand and my shoulder which had a wet white patch. CBBB.... So I rushed into the toilet to clean up.

At least it didnt poop on both of my shoulders.

See. Thats bad luck.

Yeah right, God is punishing me?... Im not the one who pisses everywhere. Plus... What ind of punishment is that (If it were one.)?... =D

Kuching 101 - Liao

When you are in Kuching, you would need to communicate. Yes, I know, we need to communicate anywhere in the world.
But in Kuching, its slightly different. So I have come up with this post to help you all, to (hopefully) understand a bit more of what people here are actually saying.

Todays word will be:

Yes, I know... its Bart.

Liao or Liaw
Meaning: Already.

Pronounciation: Lee-aow

Usage:
He had dinner already.
He had dinner liao.

I know already.
I know liao.

Have you finished your food?
Finished your food liao?

It's a smart word. It replaces a three syllable word, which is useful in many cases such as shouting.
As shouting the word already would take up too much energy, shouting liao would save energy as it only has one syllable. You try.

Efficiency guys. ;)

06-06-06

Today is a good day. The date so sui. 666. People say its bad luck... But I think its just 2+4, or 3X2, or 12/2.
So some film developer so smart lor. Make a show called "The Omen" OMG... Its a bad luck day!...
Well, to me I think its just some stuperstition. Like.. All the lau ah mah say cannot play hide and seek at night... Obviously cannot right?.. So dark, unfair for the seeker leh. Then again, science has proven that it could be fair by using torch lights.
So the show is about this kid whose mother had a hard time gettin him out, so she died cause to lazy to push. So the child came out. And this stupid dude go and adopt him. And then that dude got bad luck. Then people die.

I didnt like the story very much. So I changed the title.

Can you spot the hidden classmate?

Kena Tagged.

The thing about online tagging which I really dislike is that... No matter how SLOW you run in real life, you can still tag some world champion olympics runner.

You wouldnt want something like this to happen to you would ya?

I find this very unfair. Because, someone has tagged me and to be honest, she cant run faster than me. ;) Right Sam?
So there should be a new rule to online tagging. The person tagging and the person-to-be tagged should meet up in the real world and run. =D

Here are the rules of the game.
When I am tagged I need to come up with 8 different bullshit points about my perfect lover.

When I am tagged I need to state whether my perfect lover is a he or a she so kepo people can nod their heads.

When I am tagged I need to tag 8 other people and leave my comment on their blog.

If I kena tag by some ******* person for the 2nd time, I would not be required to do it and I can shout and scold the person.

When I am tagged I MUST have fun. Woo Hoo. So fun hor.

So here are my 8 points. *Grins delightfully*
Its a she.

1. Must be able to cook exactly 3 dishes (1 dessert.) of at least 5 countries. Preparation of the Fork and Spoon must be perfect. The Fork must be exactly 4.5cm away and parallel to the tangent of the right side of the plate. The Spoon must be exactly 5cm away and parallel to the tangent of the left side of the plate.

2. She must speak at least 8 languages so I do not need to hire a translator.

She will not look like that tho. But is something like that.

3. She must be able to drive with 3 fingers while holding a cup of coffee in the other hand.

4. She must be fun. So I can sell the TV.

5. She must own a big company. So I no need to work.

6. Her favourite colour must be green.

7. She must look decent and if not, hot all the time.

I think she's more than perfect but we're only looking for perfect here right?

8. More importantly, her sisters need to be hot as well. ;)

Since Im a nice guy. I tag myself 8 times. But I've already done it SO IT ENDS HERE. The rules never stated that I couldnt tag myself. =D

I was bored.

While surfing around the net, I stumbled upon this site...

http://handwriting.feedbucket.com/

It analyses your handwriting and then tells you how great/idiotic you are. =D
This is what I "wrote" out using my mouse....


I dunno what to write lar... So just blah-ed.


And after that they give you flattering results:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a person who thinks before acting, intelligent and thorough.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

Now, that was the best compliment I have ever recieved so far.

The typical first blog. Lah.

So, this is the first blog. So, Why do all blogs have first blogs.. I mean.. the titles are all the same... "My first blog." Theres nothing wrong with that but.. Theres nothing wrong with anything else. Wondering why the lah came after the full stop?... Proper punctuation + bad habbit. Now, I dont want to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on - see, annoying right? As I was saying, I dont wanna go on and on around ONE DAMN %@!## point. So I use my cow sense and go straight to the point. Its not that hard to do.. When you get smarter, you try! =D

And for all those bimbo bloggers...

Read carefully. ; ) We all love pirated photoshop!

So much for a first blog... type so hard.. fingers all tired... that was a great finger work out. =D