No such thing as swine flu. =.=

Hello. =D It has been a while huh?

Justifications..

Yes its an update. Yes, I am in Melbourne.

Yes. Melbourne has swine flu/H1N1, over 1000 suspected cases in Victoria.

Yes I am going back to Kuching on Friday/Saturday.

So swine flu is the in thing now and everybody's talking about it. So much swine flu shit here and there. ZOMFG ONE CASE OF SWINE FLU DETECTED. EVACUATE THE CITY!!!!
 


But here's the thing, not EVERYONE from Melbourne has swine flu dammit.
And I don't have swine flu. (Unfortunately.) I walk around Melbourne CITY everyday and I don't get sick. And there are cases of swine in Kuching TOWN?



In Melbourne, if you go into a hospital you'll see like 209412 people claiming they have swine flu, 90% of which are drunk and are complaining that their ass hurts and they cant stop coughing (while they are actually in the process of puking up dinner), and the other 10% are despo people who are perasan and they think they have swine flu and wanna be involved. So yeah, you have like 100% of stoopid people in the hospital with "swine flu". So IF there were to be someone with swine flu, like the real H1N1 shit.. its gonna spread. Where and how? Clinics, hospitals and stupid people.

Then there are sakai Kuching people who get sick by playing in the rain, drinking pipe water or by to much dota and then say its swine flu just to be special.
I know, I know, its nice to feel special but.. ughh.



Its like. So damn sakai. =.= If you cough people will think you have swine flu. If you choke on a bone people will think you're dying from swine flu. If you gym too hardcore and get muscle pain everywhere its also swine flu. You puke because you drank too much is also swine flu.

Eat char sio leh? NO SWINE FLU.



*******

And YAY. Perez got bashed. YAY! 

******

And of all people, I did not get sick, not once in Melbourne (I dont mean to brag but.. =P), and of all people I deprive my body of sleep, I freeze my ass off, skip many meals, dont drink enough water and I hang around sick people. (Tyrone, Aaron, Henry, Justy, Gavin.. ;) they all got swine flu!) So the lesson is there is no such thing as swine flu and the whole thing is a conspiracy (Ashley that was for you).


No, not a conspiracy la. There are people with swine flu but not that many la. (obviously.)

Speculation and paranoia makes things worse. Why can't everyone be smart about it and take sensible precautionary measures? Eg. use more facebook, play more dota.. :P



Anyway. It would be funny if I caught swine flu in Kuching and not in Melbourne. The irony. And since swine flu originated from a pig is it halal? Seriously. Is it?

AND I WANNA WATCH TRANSFORMERS 2!! 

Click to enlarge!

 


Quite happy with how that turned out. :D Thanks Ashley for the inspiring pig picture. lol.
  

Politics that dont matter..

Im oblivious to politics, at a global level down to our local crap, I dont really care.

So for me this is how it all goes.. I dont know much (what a surprise. =.=). You know. I know stuff like the characters and.. sort of the storyline and a bit of the ending.


So. Once upon a time..


Well, of course there's the elections.. Obama.. as we all know.. won.

No.. thats not really right is it..


as I was saying, OBAMA... and his hope campaign thingy..

Somehow that doesnt seem right either but this time we got the colour right... OBAMA..

That seems. More correct.. and then theres the Sith Lord McCain.. 

And his faithful sidekick..

Whichever one will do, they both have the same mental potential.. =\


And the somehow forgotten Hilary Clinton..

Count. Thats what it says. Count.

As you can see she is standing at an very.. strategic angle. But yeah a picture paints a thousand words and this one certainly does. =P


So Obama won the elections and stuff blah blah with his successful 'Emo for Obama' campaign. Because ACTUALLY.. 70% of America is emo. But only 10% of them are OPENLY emo. And of course, Obama himself is, secretly emo too! 


So now that he's president elect and stuff, he'll be moving into the WHITE house soon. And then drastic changes will take place..


Racial priorities will change.. It will be in such order.. 
1. Blacks  2. Mexicans  3. Asians  4. Others  5. Whites.


And they will have to remake black monopoly.. =( It was fun while it lasted..

Anyway, thats whats going on in America..

And in the meantime in North Korea..
Kim Jong Il is happily catching Pokemons. And pokemons somehow send out a lot of.. nuclear radiation which lead the US to think that the North Koreans are actually producing nuclear warheads. But the truth is that they're actually catching pokemons. And he is quite pro at it.. =P

And that is all I know about politics (if there was any). =D

Just Melamine

Personal rant ahead. Approach with caution.

Note: Pictures in this post are mostly irrelevant because melamine is white powder and I am lazy to be creative.

Melamine, it's everywhere (in your KIDNEY TOO!!!), I'm sure you've heard of it like.. all over the papers or on TV.. with jolly health inspectors stating that [insert Chinese product here] contains 40193242 ppm of melamine. =.=

Anyway, its no surprise... Melamine, China, Chinese people, Money, Greed. 
The summary of the whole damn thing. China plans to poison the whole world? A good conspiracy theory.

Then you add on.. Melamine can kill, Paranoid mothers, Sick babies, Dying babies, Gossip, Panic.

Here's what I think: If you're not an infant, and you're being picky; trying to avoid every single piece of melamine... you are gay.

You are gay because...

1. It kills INFANTS. You are not an infant. 

2. You don't hear fat people dying from melamine related causes. (They are still jolly.)


3. You believe in 'what I don't know wont kill me' because; now that you are aware of the melamine in your nail polish or lipstick, you are afraid. Very afraid.


4. Kidney stones can be removed. It hurts but be a man. =D

5. Your death is not necessarily a bad thing. (You might not regret it too!)


And its funny, melamine is used in fertilizers, dyes and pesticide... And a month ago, you did not know that. No one was worried. Nothing was going on. Nothing wrong here... If someone said 'melamine' you would go... 'No you've said it wrong, it's melanin.'


So this pesticide right, its called cyromazine. I guess a pesticide would be most appropriate on a plant. So plants, they can convert cryromazine into melamine. Melamine is INSOLUBLE. It stays in the plant. You eat the plant.. blablabla. It stays in you. So you cant really break it down into urea and piss it out.

If animals like.. wild chickens or wild pigs consume -by accident -the pesticide, then melamine will accumulate in the animal. And if for some reason we unfortunately eat the animal, we get some of the melamine.

So it's not only found in diary products, but plants and animals too...that's like, everything for dinner! Free plastic! Free stuff also wanna complain complain...

Looks familiar? Bet you still can imagine the creamy goodness of PLASTIC. =D

Maybe melamine has been around for ages but we didn't really notice it until now and we're making such a big fuss over it - just because we know.
We should worry about bigger issues. Like, the oil price.. or.. radiation from handphones.. mercury in tuna and fish oil, or bad Malaysian drivers...

Mac vs PC

Warning: Article based on personal opinions you should not take seriously.

 

Yes, the Mac vs PC, an endless battle which has claimed thousands of innocent nerdy lives...

Who has NOT heard of a Mac? Even the people living in the kampung kampung places 200 miles away in the middle of stupid trees know what a Mac is. Thanks to the unarguably most stereotypical advertising by McDonalds Apple. Mac users are portrayed by Apple to be hip, trendy, and young (and not obese), wearing sneakers with funky hair, and tend to be for the upper class snobs people. (and rich dumb blonde kinda people). 

As an added bonus, Apple makes fun of Micro$oft in their ad's too. (Which are shown later.) Two birds with one apple. (Ha ha ha.)


And if you're reading this with a Mac, I'm not saying that you're a snob or you're rich. Its just what you're portrayed  as. By me. Lol. Dont get offended, really, its nothing to get offended over..

Click to enlarge.

First of all. Macs are ridiculously overpriced. You pay [insert your own currency] 5000 for a Mac, and you get the same performance on a PC for 2000. So the extra 3000 is a brand thing, where you pay for the brand, where you buy yourself the rights to be stereotyped. Its merely a hype, its a hype its a hype its a hype its a hype.

So you say the Mac is more user friendly? I agree. But before the Mac was around, everyone used a PC. No one ever complained about it being hard to use. Instead, we faced the challenge, and used our brains to adapt to the daunting process of learning how to use it. But now, we don't have to. Get a Mac. There's no learning or thinking involved! Yet they say we humans are becoming smarter as time passes. But as technology advances we are in fact becoming lazier and incapable. (My opinion.)



What's even worse are those kids that get Macs because they think its cool to have one, and when anyone talks about their PC's (online or in real life) there's bound to be some intrusion into the conversation where he would shine light onto his Mac and boast away (or something along those lines). The sad part is that they make statements like 'my Mac is so much better' without any justification whatsoever, and most of the time they do not know much or anything at all about computers.

There is not much of a difference actually. A Mac and a PC, both computers, using intel chipsets, the only difference is that they are running on different Operating Systems. So.. software - games, programs such as photoshop and such. Those are software. If there were a list of compatible software with the Mac OS X and Windows, and if the list for a Mac were a meter long, Windows would be ten meters. Its the truth.

 Click to enlarge.

 

When it comes to getting the work done, a PC is so much better, work, I mean, as in, work in an office. Imagine going to work with a Mac. Who does that? There is Windows Server Edition, is there a Mac OS X Server Edition? Dont think so.
Get a Mac Book Pro (MBP), try be smart, install XP, or Vista, use it. Sure its dead fast, but boiling hot too.

In an office environment, a PC would definitely win hands down. Micro$oft Office, heck it even has the word office in it, promising. Efficient yet dynamic. How about cybercafe's? If a Mac is as good as they claim to be, why are cybercafe's using PC's? And its not all about playing games.

Click to enlarge.

Viruses. Its true that PC's are much more prone to viruses and whatnot, and that Mac's are 'immortal'. Why is this so? Because hackers dont give a #@*! about Macs. All the important relevant stuff are in PC's. So more viruses are made for PC's.

Hack a Mac and what do they get? Wannabe mixed music, 497271 cam whore photos, and idiot-proof edited photos produced by the creativity of the computer.

The problem with a Mac is that it's simplicity has fallen to such a level where, simple minds linger about. Level stupid. PC too complicated? Use a Mac. Unless you're mentally challenged, an old folk with impaired vision, cancerous, or stoned, you don't need a Mac.

So now I end my rant, without taking any sides. (Unbiased too!)

And this picture summarizes everything. Click to enlarge.

So, what do YOU want? Oh and Vista sucks. Use XP.

Large Hadron Collider

Being the nerd that I am, I bring to you more scientific information for cool kids like you. =D

See, its large.

Behold, the LHC, Large Hadron Collider. Im not gonna make up something like 'LHC stands for Loser Had Cake', because this is SERIOUS BUSINESS. (Nerds! Click on the wiki link for more orgasmic information!)

So this LHC thing is a particle accelerator. Okay, so a particle accelerator is this thingy you use to produce magnetic fields (with magnets!), and then these magnetic fields collides small particles. Why do we want to collide small particles?

Because you know those scientist people in lab coats? It turns them on.

So you're wondering why its such a big deal.. who cares about this large thingy.

First of all, its LARGE. The tunnel is 27KM long. 27KM!!!! Thats like.. Kuching to Damai? And its underground. And while its in operation, the magnets will contain 10,000,000,000 Joules of energy. (About the same energy content as 230KG of pure fat.)

So the main concern is that, they're gonna collide these particles (skip the scientific detail) and while colliding, there is a chance (a very small chance?) that... mini black holes will be created.

And if you still don't get it, black holes are bad. Imagine, an invisible ball... which starts off really really small.. then whatever it comes into contact with, is 'eaten' and becomes part of this ball, making it.. bigger.. and bigger and bigger. Eventually, consuming the whole world.

The world will end on the 10th of September?  

Thats when they're gonna launch a beam through the LHC for the first time to see what happens. Which is in 2 days time.

The good news is that we wont die first, if it happens. But the bad news is we still die. :D

But sadly...

"A new report provides the most comprehensive evidence available to confirm that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC)’s switch-on, due on Wednesday next week, poses no threat to mankind."

Awww. No fun, lets just hope they're wrong.

Guys & DotA

It has been the most sought after answer, to why guys DotA. Because there is more to 'they're just losers' (partly true) or because 'they have no friends' (partly true again. =.=). As I understand what it's like (I DOTA! :D), I've conducted multimillion dollar experiments with hours of extensive research to come up with an logical answer, a breakthrough in science.

First, what is this.. DotA you ask. Well, to keep things simple and easy to understand, DotA is a game, that you play on the computer, with other strangers/losers/geeks (whatever you want to say) across Malaysia. Attempts to play with people overseas will produce a phenomenon known as.. the lag. A lag is when there is a temporary pause (couple of seconds) within the game. 

This lag stimulates the limbic lobes in the limbic system of the brain through a visual impulse. Stimulation of these lobes produce uncontrollable anger. Players tend to get impatient and start swearing.

DotA requires teamwork as a game consists of 2 teams, with 5 players on each team.

Each player controls a 'hero'. They use their heroes to go around killing their opponents heroes. 

You should have heard about levels somehow or another. Like in a typical conversation between two DotA victims. Well, these heroes can gain levels, and it lasts as long as the game is in play. 
DotA should not be mistaken as something like MapleStory. =.= Levels are not kept after the game ends. Its like football. You do not keep the goals you score.


MapleStory is a different addiction. Which affects only females, however, it also affects ball-less guys. =D



The statistics: 

- You ask any guy if they've played DotA today, and 50% of the time, its a yes. 

- 2 in 7 relationship problems are caused by DotA.

- Each year, 24,000 innocent lives are lost because of DotA.


Okay so they're not so true but you know, DotA kills people, it ruins relationships, it turns you into stone like Medusa (not the dota character you freak).


The Addiction

Now I shall answer the biggest question ever asked, bigger than the Mary Magledene crap.

DotA is known as the only visual drug up to date, which enters the bloodstream through the eyes. DotA has a half life of 5 hours, and on average, 20mg of DotA is absorbed per hour of gaming. It is only effective on males, due to the lateral gender differences in the brain. In friendly terms, DotA is known as Defence of the Ancients. But thats bullcrap.

DotA is derived from 'Do' for Dopamine 't' for Tanha and 'A' for Acrasia.

The discovery of DotA dates back to the Archaic periods of the ancient Greek, hence the term Acrasia; used in philosophical literature, which means a lack of self control, or a weak will. This is experienced with DotA, where not playing is desired but, the victim plays anyway.

In Buddhism, Tanha means thirst or craving. This is also experienced by DotA victims. It is believed that the Buddha was one of the first few to ever experience DotA at 550mg. At this point he was said to have attained the great enlightenment.

Confucius was also one of the very few pioneers of DotA. Many of his famous quotes derived from his experiences with DotA.

"Do not worry about holding high position; worry rather about playing your 
proper role." - Confucius

Dopamine, a hormone responsible for feelings of motivation and reward while also increasing heart rate and blood pressure. This is experienced by DotA players too.

So basically DotA is Dompamine Tanha Acrasia, which would mean, a motivation for craving, without self control. Reward is gained when a player wins the game. So there's also a desire to win. If the victim does not win, he enters a state of dissatisfaction and anxiety.

Okay, an example.

Lets say I play DotA for an hour, I would have 20mg of DotA in my bloodstream, which would already produce slight emotional effects. At 10mg the effects would still remain, but at a lesser magnitude. At 5mg, the effect of DotA is wearing off. There would be no more extra dopamine, however there is still a craving. The induced acrasia is purely psychological and can only be overcome by mental strength. The craving lasts for as long as there is more than 0.43mg of DotA

So the effects of an hours game of DotA would last for at least another 24 hours.

Which is why, an average DotA addict must play at least one game a day. Any questions class? =)
So dont get pissed if someone plays DotA for 5 hours straight, its the drug, not them, they do not have the control to stop themselves, so the only option is to join em. =D

 

Black Screen of Doom

OMG? SERIOUSRY?


The Black screen? Is it true?

I quote some random source:

"Starting on Wednesday, roughly one third of the nearly 8.6 million Malaysian Windows XP Pro users will experience the blackouts, according to The Star Online.  Once one of these "blackouts" occur, a user will need to reset the machine’s desktop background to regain access.  Only problem is- when 60 minutes are up, the black screen will reappear and the user must go through the whole process again."

And, Im not making it up, I heard it on the radio too. The link to the article by The New Straits Times.. HERE


I dont know how this weird black screen works but... we are all in grave danger.. unless you are rich and got ripped off into buying original micro$oft crap. Note that, although it is crap; it's still better than any apple. ;D 

Then again. Its some Malaysian organized plan. What are the chances of success? 

Pretty low. Well I think I've found a way to avoid this dumb occurence (if it actually happens). So if it actually happens, I shall update this post. =)

Avril too sexy for Malaysians, apparently.

Omg. Totally WTF-ness.

Warning: Post may contain vulgarities. Lol.

 

Im not an Avril fan. But I quote E!..

"A hard-line Islamic opposition party in the Southeast Asian country is calling on the government to scuttle an upcoming concert featuring the "Sk8er Boi" singer, calling her stage act way "too sexy" for local tastes."

"Officials with the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party's youth wing contend Lavigne's Aug. 29 performance in Kuala Lumpur would set a bad example for citizens, especially coming two days before the nation's Aug. 31 Independence Day holiday."

Okay so some party full of gay fags think that Avril is too sexy for them but who gives a shit about their gay asses. AND, who do they think they are knowing what our local tastes are? I like pork. :D But unfortunately; because they disapprove of this, no one gets to watch the concert.

He is not the person responsible for this. lol.

' "It is considered too sexy for us...it's not good for viewers in Malaysia," party official Kamarulzaman Mohamed was quoted by the Associated Press as saying. "We don't want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models."

Kamarulzaman subsequently sent letters of protest last week to Malaysia's Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry and Kuala Lumpur's mayor demanding the gig be canceled. '

OMG? This guy thinks that we're all climbing around coconut trees and swinging around here and there. Its as if he thinks that there is no such thing as the INTERNET. Too sexy? Anyone can go online and search for 'sexy' on google. So why not get rid of the internet? He even sent gay letters of protest. Despo bitch.

"Additionally, artists are not allowed to wear anything revealing and must cover themselves from the chest to the knees in line with conservative Muslim edicts."

=.= So I guess if you're looking forward to seeing Avril, dont be. Shes gonna be covered in black cloth, like a walking letterbox.



I quote again..

"A number of notable Western entertainers have run into trouble performing in Malaysia. Beyoncé axed a date in the country and instead booked a show in Indonesia rather than try to adhere to the country's stringent standards.

Christina Aguilera avoided the country altogether during a trek through the region last year, while Gwen Stefani decided to forego the belly-button ring and her usual stripped-down fashion statement to placate the powers that be."

Its not a good thing. Celebrities wont want to come here to perform. Its good enough that they WANT to come and perform, but be an asshole and give them rules and shit? They might as well go to Singapore. We are true champions. =.=
Malaysia Boleh!

Okay. Done ranting. The |$@ wont unfairly detain me for this right? =P

Its all fake?

The Olympics has been creating quite an uproar recently. Not due to its success, but its fabrications. After all, the Chinese are good at that.. haha.


Remember the footprints?

Apparently the video aired on television (and in the stadium) was a really convincing digital remake which took almost a year to complete. Yep, they fooled us all by the billions. Its like thinking 'They used real pandas to film Kung Fu Panda?' Those in the stadium watched on the big screen, and those that watched on TV saw the same.
They even included the 'camera shake' effect to impersonate a person on a helicopter filming. 
Oh and not forgetting the 'air pollution' effect too. Otherwise no one would have bought it.


Remember the little girl in red who sang some song at the opening ceremony?  

(again) Apparently she was lip synching. The Olympics organisers thought that the original singer (slightly chubby, with buck teeth) was too ugly, despite the voice; to be shown to the public. So its true that we should judge a book by its cover. The Olympics encourages it! =D


Ticket sales were bad?

Very true. Apparently, it was SOO bad that the Organisers had to bring in thousands of 'fake fans' to fill the seats, its not because no one wants to go; but because of (much more expensive) illegal tickets, which makes it harder to find affordable tickets. Meaning less real people.


Maybe it's REALLY a disaster after all...

Zai?

Okay, what is this word?

If you can read mandarin, you'd know that it means disaster. As in, disaster, where many people die kinda thing. Not like.. a bad hair day.



Now, does the image below seem familiar?..

As if you've seen it somewhere.. OH SO FAMILIAR!..




You know whats coming next right..?





I meant, after that..




Disaster + Olympics... OMG... Hidden message anyone? Now we can all go make up our own conspiracy theories.. *eerie music*